#words and things

[hapticshift]

Ah... yes... something I know nothing about... I'll like it because OP is a good writer.

for gen 10 they should just go all out and release an eeveelution for every missing type

[tiredandlonelymuse]

This is how I originally wrote it. One of those that starts as a poem and then begs to be a song. I posted a fragment of this on tumblr a while back, but here’s the initial piece in its entirety 🤍

[muscle-museum]

“Why did we have to start a war,

in order to form a connection?”

“why did it have to be this destructive?” (2023)

[lonelyandgoldenmuse]

There's a flood starting in my head

I'm about to dive.

But There's a rising fire in my chest I can never get rid of.

sometimes all the rights look fake

And all fakes look right.

But the heart always has to choose a side.

Cause it needs to love something all the time.

But still has to carry doubts through life.

[mistressofthemystery]

I am the universe performing a miracle.

- S

[soakedinred]

Tear me apart and pass me around to share

Take what you want of me

I’ll be helpful that way

I’ll be useful

Sell my parts for cash and make a living

My body doesn’t belong to me anymore

I’m not sure it ever did

[themoonsaid]

sometimes i think i need a partner then it turns into i think i need a friend then it turns into i think i need my mom then it turns into i think i need to be alone. on a world trip.

[elysianthespecter]

mary oliver

[ppldisappearhere]

lonely is the muse has made me feel deeply connected with a resentful side of myself. it opens up the floodgates of everyone that's ever wronged me, but in the end i resent myself the most for allowing it to happen time after time. (un)fortunately i am my mother's daughter and my father's punishment, but most importantly i am not important — and i'm selfishly and wrongfully disappointed i have not been chosen as someone's muse. other than blamed for tears and anger, what else can i inspire? maybe nothing. am i just lonely? muse?

[ariasmontage]

August 23, 2024

Today was a good day. Some of my friends graduated and I went to attend the ceremony. I was very happy for them. They deserved to be celebrated after putting in so much care in all the projects we did together.

At the ceremony, many parents also visited. It was endearing to see them cheer for their children. They bought flowers and cameras. Some of the graduates were people in their 40s and 50s who invited their spouses and kids to the ceremony. Some of the kids were so little and enthusiastic about waving hi to their mom or dad as they received the diploma.

It made me miss my family and I wondered if they'd be able to fly to Seoul to see me graduate. I could imagine how excited my mother would be as I made her meet my friends and showed her the campus.

So different from how I felt about myself last night as I cried myself to sleep. I felt like a lump of flesh thrown at my parents door and now they had to take care of it.

Anyway, after the ceremony, I went to have lunch with a friend and we talked a lot in the park with our iced coffees. The evening was perfect with its pretty sunset and the pretty shadow of the curtain on my cupboard. My online order also arrived! I would leave me if I could and I who has never known men.

When it grew dark, the cheerfulness of the day wore of and the loneliness caught hold of me. I missed mum. I don't know when I'll see her next. I called her (suppresed that I was crying), chit-chatted and hung up. 10 minutes later I allowed myself to call her and cry. I never call her when I'm upset because I know how much she'd worry about me. Today, I permitted, was granted.

End.

[dykeonthemic]

i had to go home a few months ago. i got to watch my youngest brother graduate from our high school. the lack of a memorial service during the ceremony led to me asking of my mum: “did they really all make it?”. she told me not only that they did, but that they didn’t remember what it had been like for our older classes, either.

in the lead up to the return journey i had been listening to chappel roan’s california. listening and smoking and hitting play to listen again. my girlfriend asked “how do you feel about going home baby?”. i told my best friend that it was close enough, but i still hadn’t quite found a song to make sense of it all. “Cause I was never told that I wasn't gonna get the things I want the most” didn’t quite ring true when that was really all i had ever heard.

on my first listen to the great impersonator, under the cover of darkness through speakers with my best friend in my lap, hometown went through me like a cane train. Davey. or Ben. or Chloe. or. or.

“I didn't think that I was special, but I was too afraid to die”.

it’s taking its time to settle into my soul. i hope it decides to stay there for a while. i’m going to need it when i have to go home in a few months. i get to see my youngest sister get married.

[churchandmouse]

TEENS WANT HALSEY NOT JESUS

[tiredandlonelymuse]

Just wanted to say a special thank you to everyone on here who has found “The End” resonates with them. It’s like screaming in an empty room sometimes. I came back to tumblr when it all went down, because I think something special happens here. Like when someone sits at the edge of the couch and through your tears you say “please don’t watch me cry, but please don’t leave either.” This is the quiet space in between screaming observation and lethargic loneliness. It’s shared solitude. The platform gave me everything once upon a time, so many years ago. It felt right to return in my weakest moment. It was here that I could tell small fragmented truths about what I was going through, in my own baroque way. Thanks for keeping my secret until I was ready.

[muscle-museum]

She was all alone,

because she wanted it.

I was all alone,

because she wanted it.

“demolition lovers” (2022)

[lonelyandgoldenmuse]

Looking for a spot to start right now.

Looking for a sweet madness to live in somehow.

All the confusion made my mind go blind.

I've tried to make all the stars align.

Think I lost something I can never find.

Think I got a sight I crashed inside.

It's like the sound of broken mirrors echo in my mind.

Or maybe the cold breeze scratching my skin.

How does it feel to miss your broken heart?

I should leave here and move to a foreign ground.

I got the poison surrounding all over my body.

You got the medicine but still, keep killing me calmly.

But I keep running from the fears I've raised slowly.

[mistressofthemystery]

Don't let anyone tell you your dreams are too big. Not even you. You're the universe, and the universe is within you. You are infinity.

- S